No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
dude. I can hear the air.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize