summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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