Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
