So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
