but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
