I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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