ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
