It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I love having hate sex.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
