ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
3pm strippers are depressing
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
