Just cropdusted the office
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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