Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
