I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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