Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
