haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
