Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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