Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
