Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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