so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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