Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize