Don't you send me to vm
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
