i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
