The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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