how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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