Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
