doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You have to summon your inner elephant
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
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