so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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