people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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