Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I sprained my soul last night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
