I need help removing her.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
