ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
