She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize