i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
