she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize