I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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