i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
