is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
