I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
