I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
