Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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