Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
