New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize