Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
