Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
