did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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