Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
