I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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