We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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