I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
