I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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