I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
