Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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