My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
