just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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