i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
