This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
