and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
