the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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