DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
