so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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