Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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