I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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