it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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