I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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