Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
