New invention idea: vibrating tampons
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
