Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
