no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
