My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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