Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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